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The Ballad of Chad

by Charles Jones

Listen my children to you old granddad
And I’ll tell you a story that’s really sad
Back in the year two thousand and zero
When the whole nation looked for a hero
We go Chad.
After a long, bitter, hard fought campaign
Between a liar and a man with no brain
Only one State remained so divided
The winner might have to be decided
By Chad.

The voters had spoken in Florida
They’d said ..er, well, ah.., you know,..duh.
We can’t decide with any precision,
So let someone else make the decision.
How about Chad?
Holena Ballot felt somebody blew it
When she was poked everyone knew it.
She wasn’t dimpled, she never dangled,
And nothing was loose with nothing mangled.
Not like that Chad!
So the recount got started and some more
Votes were added to for the side of Al Gore.
The Bush backers said, “That just isn’t fair.
You’ve altered the rules so don’t even dare
Count that Chad”.
So the case was sent to the Supreme Court.
The judges said, “Stop! You’ll have to abort.
We can’t say for certain which dents are votes.
There are no guidelines and there are no notes
About that Chad.
Well, now you know children how five to four
George Bush was elected and not ole Al Gore.
How each Supreme Justice in a black robe
Repaid his Party for the favors he owed.
The losers blamed Chad.

Copyright Charles Jones

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